How to Be a Hermit: shopping smart

Occasionally a thrift store will have a sale so that they can clear out a bunch of merch. This is the day to shop. At Value Village, E-town's foremost thrift store, there is a semi-anual 50% off day.
Purchased:
3-piece suite, grey, fits well
1 tweed jacket, tan
1 belt, black
1 cd, only 2 tracks I actually wanted
Cost: $18.73 CAD
Wise men say "never pay full price for retail"
Hermits say "never pay more than twelve dollars for a suit"

Full Belly on a Sunny Day

It is a shame that anyone should have to work indoors on a day so beautiful. Especially if that person is me.

Why do you drink coffee?

Because (choose all that apply):
you like the taste
you like the atmosphere of the cafe
you need to be alert or energetic
it makes you look cool/ sophisticated
the barista is cute
you’re trying to find the lethal dosage of caffeine
unlike soda/ pop, you can control the amount of sugar in it
it goes well with your cigarettes
you’re proving that it doesn’t stunt your growth
it’s faster than a real breakfast (or any solid food based meal)
heart murmurs are fun
its more socially acceptable to have at work than hard liquor
chicks dig guys who are high strung
you’ve always wondered what it would be like to piss 8 liters in 4 hours
holding in your lap while you drive adds ‘danger’ to your commute
it looks like you’ve been working harder if your cloths are coffee stained
if you don’t, somewhere, a ninja will turn a bunny inside out
you heard that free trade was a good thing but had no idea what it meant
a latte is cheaper than a line of cocaine

feel free to add more

Just so you know. . .

Three Names You Go By:
1. Shaggy
2. Indy (as in Jones, not rock)
3. Hey you

Three screen names you have had:
1. CaliforniaWill
2. IndianaWill
3. Sexkitten69

Three things you like about yourself:
1. IQ
2. Cynicism
3. Inability to turn off 1 or 2

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. Introvery, hermitous tendencies
2. Pyromaniacal tendencies
3. the lonliness that comes with knowing that I'm better than anyone else

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
1. Jewish (eastern europe somewhere)
2. Irish
3. French Canadian

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1. the idiocy of average people
2. stupid people in large numbers (Children fall in here or in #1)
3. being close to rapidly rotating firey spheres of death with blades coming out at odd angles of them.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW/ FAVORITE ARTICLES OF CLOTHING
1. light kahkis
2. brown fedora
3. lucky rocket ship underwear

FAVORITE SONGS/ BANDS
1. I listen to whatever corporate radio tells me to listen to.
2. three of the voices in my head got together and formed an acapella group and they're not bad.
3. Wagner, because it just makes you want to invade Poland.

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO DO IN NEXT 12 MONTHS
1. so utterly warp someone's mind that their grey matter shoots out their ears like science fair volcanoes.
2. Conquer a country: either the USA or a small one somewhere in the tropics
3. develope super powers, then abuse them, possibly for #1 or 2

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is neither given nor necessary)
1. A nerd
2. Faithfulness
3. A willingness to partake in my penchant for the unspeakable.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. All of my plans for world domination start with conquering Australia
2. I'm not bitter at all
3. I know exactly what I'm doing with my life.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1. skinny
2. naturally blond or latina
3. clear complexion

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOPPIES
1. fossil hunting
2. conversation (yes, it's a hobby)
3. Plotting world domination.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
1. sleep with someone
2. conqur Australia
3. learn the answer to the mystery of where Spark of Life lives.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING
1. Professor of Vertebrate Paleontology
2. Curator of Verytebrate Paleontology at a major museum
3. Supreme dictator of Earth

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION
1. Indonesia
2. Germany
3. Morocco

THREE KID'S NAMES
1. Mistake One
2. Error Two
3. William

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. finish writing one of my books
2. Stare doon an oncoming bullet train
3. Vanquish the very idea of god in the hearts and minds of every sentient being as part of world conquest

THREE PEOPLE THAT MUST TAKE THIS QUIZ OR BE THE FIRST TO BE QUASHED UNDER MY IRON FIST.
1. Spark of Life (that makes two votes now)
2. Naked drinking coffee
3. anyone else who happens to read this blog

Bum Luck

As I was doing my weekly grocery shopping today I notice a middle aged woman in a green shirt following me around the store. It's obvious when someone is following you if you make sudden changes in direction, do a lap around the store and the person is still there, or tries to non-chalantly walk passed you in an isle only to double back to what every isle you go to next. I concluded quickly, and correctly, that she was the store detective. Once I had as much fun as I could derive from making her follow me in a circutous route around the store, I went to a register and paid for my groceries. As I was walking out, just as I predicted, the woman stopped me.
"Excuse me sir, could I talk to you for a second." she said in a tone that was less asking than demanding.
"Certainly" I replied as I repressed a smug smile.
"I'm the store detective and I saw you shop lift just now. Lets go to my office and I'll have you empty your pockets. Please come with me or I'll have to call the RCMP and they'll deal with you"
"Really?" I asked "what did I steal?" At this point I was contemplating emaressing her infront of real cops, but I decided against it. It would take too long.
"I saw you take some chocolates and put them in your pocket. Now please come with me to my office."
"No need, I can empty my pockets right here. It'll be a good example to the other riff raff." Saying this, I could see the sense of triumph fading quickly from her face. Putting down by bags, I turned my hip and back pockets inside out and let her pat down my cargo pockets. "Satisfied?" I asked.
"Sorry sir, it's just a precausion. Have a nice day." she said with a distinct look of embarassment and started towards her office.
"That's okay, catch me next time I guess." In the back of my mind, I also thought "That's right, now make like good spam and go jump down someone else's throat."
I was feeling so damn smug and riteous that when a homeless fellow asked me for some food a minute later I magnanimously gave him one of my jars of peanut butter (1kg, $3.29). In retrospect I should have given him my loaf of bread, but then I wouldn't have had anything to spread the peanut butter on. Had he asked for money as some of the usual White Ave bums did five minutes later I would have refused as usual, but I was feeling good and thought that a good deed would round out my day nicely. Besides, I doubt that he can trade Jiffy for Jack Daniels.

Darth Jesus

Hydrass and I went to see "Star Wars" the other night. Despite the fact that it had replaced most qualities that made the original movies great (ie. pithy dialogue, one liners, insults shared between protagonists and a villain that was really evil as opposed to just pissy) with spectacular visuals and extended fight scenes, I enjoyed it. One thing that caught my attention though was Obi Wan's reply to Anikan saying "if you are not with me, you are my enemy." Obi Wan said that only sith's dealt with such absolutes. Hmmm, really? For those of you who have a bible handy, go to Mathew 12:30 or Luke 11:23. Both appostles attribute "He that is not with me is against me" to Jesus.

Library Legacy

I happened across an antique store on whight ave today that displayed a couple of well illustrated Paleo books in the front window. I wandered in and found that they had an impressive collection of paleo books for sale including "Cope's Bible," which is a report on tertiary mammals and is about five inches thick. Upon inquiry, I found out that the store owner had bought them all at once from an estate sale and that what was displayed was only about half of it.
I can't help but wonder though to whom these had belonged. They must have been purchased in Edmonton and previously owned by someone who's been here for a long time, since one item was a finely printed course manual for a U of A paleo field school in the 50's. There were also several articles from the the mid 1920's and 30's and Cope's bible has been out of print for decades. The family of the original owner should be dragged out into the street and beaten with a cane for deciding to sell the library rather than donate it to the University where it belongs. I wonder if some day the same fate will befall my burgeoning collection of books and articles? We don't collect things like this just to have them eventually sold off piece meal. An academic's library is a reflection of his career and acheivements. To sell it off is to obliterate his memory, and scoff in the face of what we Academics stand for: the accumulation of knowledge.

Conversation while at border station

Old man: So, what is it you do for a livin'?
Me : I was a paleontology student at the University of Alberta, but now I'll be working as an assistant in their museum collections.
Old man: Oh, so you look at dinosaurs, eh?
Me: Yeah, sort of.
Old man: My grand neice used to do that. Yeah, that was back in . . .
(five minutes later)
. . . But what I alway had a problem with was that ten thosand year stuff.
Me: Well, no scientists say ten thousand years for fossils.
Old Man : Oh? How old are they then?
Me: Any dinosaur fossil you see would be at least 65 million years old.
Old Man : What!? That's even worse! How old do they think the earth is then?
Me: Oh, about four and a half billion.

Not that anybody cares but . . .

should I so choose, I can stay in Canada for a year. I have no intention of staying that long, but its an option. It also means that I can attend my graduation ceremony, work for the EAS department and come up with some clever way of letting the people at the Ashfall site know that they'll have to find someone else. All this and I only had to hitch hike 100km and shell out $330.00 CAD in the process.

Border Run

Well, that's it, I have to leave the country. In fact, I'm leaving tonight, catching a greyhound for the border. Hopefully by leaving fleeing this beautiful country, my past won't come back to haunt me and I'll be able to live out the rest of my summer in relative peace. But don't worry, I'll be back. Probably about two minutes after I leave. I'm just going to the border to expedite some paperwork for my work visa. Applying within Canada takes 45 to 60 days (which based on past experience means actually about 6 months), but going to the border takes one day. I just hope that they can process the damn thing in under 30 minutes. Otherwise, I'll have to either wait a full day for the next bus going north or hitch hike to Lethbridge and get a bus from there. Wish me luck.

Patterns of Cartilage condensation

Back Logged Paleo Post

Back in 1997, when I was still a freshman in high school, Alan Feduccia wrote a paper on the homology of the digits in the bird limb claiming that embryonic development showed the digits in the hands of birds to be II-III-IV (index, middle and ring finger) rather than I-II-III as seen in Theropod evolution. Pivotal though it is, I’ve only just now gotten around to reading it. His argument was based on the observation that the condensation of cartilage in the limb consistently followed the pattern of going through the humerus, ulna and digit IV. His sample included a chicken, cormorant, turtle and an alligator. In all of them he saw a central axis of cartilage condensation and called them homologous. He neglected to his own a priori assumption of that if condensation goes through digit IV in animals that have digit IV, that it must go through digit IV in animals about which the presence of digit IV is uncertain. Assumed homology to digit IV negates the point of his study. Consequentially, in birds, Feduccia saw the temporary vestige of digit V posterior to IV and absolutely no sign of digit I at the other end. Had he seen a center of ossification for digit I, then I’d accept his results.

A big problem with his methodology was that the only groups that he used for comparison each had 5 digits on the hand. Furthermore, the evolution of the hand and foot of Theropod dinosaurs identical as Feduccia makes it sound. The hand in theropods is I-II-III (which we can tell from a strong reduction and eventually loss of IV & V in primitive theropods) while the main digits on the foot are II-III-IV (since we can see the outer digits 1 & V be reduced to due claws). In the foot of the chick embryo, one does see the remnants of digits I & V, which is why it’s okay to say that the axis of cartilage condensation goes through digit IV in the foot. However, I suspect that the axis in the hand switched from IV to III early in the evolution of theropods (Ornithischians don’t follow this pattern and sauropods keep all of their digits). To substantiate or refute the possibility of the axis of condensation moving, one might compare the embryology to the fossil of horses, sloths, tapirs, guinea pigs or some other digit reduced animal.
Feduccia further argues that “a variation of this pattern wherein the primary axis runs through digit III, would eliminate any phylogenetic significance from the morphological and molecular similarities in amniote limb development. If such a condition could be demonstrated, patterns of limb development would have to be decoupled from phylogeny, and this stereotypic pattern of development accepted as convergence.” This is just nonsense. The axis of condensation has to go somewhere, and it would look identical whether it goes through digit IV or III. It’s much more parsimonious to assume that the digit IV axis is basal and that the digit III condition evolved once and is just a synapomorphy of birds and theropods.

Kung Fu Hustle

By way of celebrating actually being done for the summer, I went out to the Garneau theater for cheap movie night and saw "Kung Fu Hustle." I thuroughly enjoyed it. Definately a guy movie, it appeals to my love of watching people kick the crap out of each other, cartoonish supernatural powers and slapstick comedy. So really just watching people kick the crap out of each other with a few one liners thrown in. One liners don't lose anything when they are in subtitles. The corney plot (and subsequent twists) works really well with the comedic aspect of the film. There are really two other things that I'd like to add: 1. The soundtrack is awesome. 2. Having seen this, there is no excuse for a movie to have less than visually spectacular, amazingly realistic visual effects. It sets up some rather high expectations/ standards for The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy and Star Wars.

my world is a far brighter place now that you're not in it

We've been together for a while now, about 8 1/2 months, but today I ended it. We first got aquainted over the internet while I was in South Dakota and for a while things were pretty cool between us. Then in September, when I came back to Edmonton we got serious and started spending alot of time together. Really though, I felt that I was putting way more into things than I was getting out. There have been just way too many sleepless nights and too much worrying. We kind of took a hiatus over the Chrismas holiday and I tried not to think about us, but it was impossible. But now its over, the relationship has ended and I can actually start living a semi-normal life again. I feel as though a great burdon has been lifted and that the grass is tremendously greener than it was yesterday. What mistress am I talking about? What succubus have I share my mind, heart and bed with for the last 8 months? My 499 project on the affinities of snakes based on the morphology of their braincases is finsihed and may I never speak of it again. Though I really don't know what I'll do with my life now.