the problem with being a hermit

I must say that I lead a fairly frustrating life. I am by nature, an extremely frugal man, inclined to parsimony, a miser at best. However, it has been the record of my recent life that my various money saving ventures have been entirely in vein, subject largely to Gelnaw’s Law of Maximum Irony. It all started months ago when I seemed to have a fair and decent amount of money. In fact, I had accounts in 3 different banks. What I decided to do was this. In order to maximize the amount of interest that I was earning from my account in California, I transferred the majority of the funds into my savings account. When I realized that I was also being charged a monthly fee on now dwindled checking account, I decided to close it. Little did I realize that doing so meant that I would have absolutely no access to those funds. Normally, I would indeed have access to it, in spite of the fact that the checking account was closed because I had the ability to withdraw cash from the savings account via an ATM. However, since the bank issued me a new card last summer, although the old one would not expire for another 3 years, and with it a new PIN number, I found myself with an utterly useless card when I couldn’t remember the new PIN.
Skip ahead to November. Somehow I’m completely out of money in my Wells Fargo account. If I had kept better track of my spending I might be able to tell you where all the money went, but frankly, I can’t. Near as I can figure, 4 months food and rent, a damage deposit and a trip to a conference in Denver pretty much did me in. For those of you who point out that I know own more than 100 Palaeophis vertebrae, I have only to say that they set me back less than $30 USD. At that time, I switched over to my BMO account. The entirety of the funds there however came from checks from my Wells Fargo account, so really I wasn’t out of money yet, it was just in a different bank. It seems fitting then that my Wells Fargo card was eaten by a BMO ATM.
Skip ahead now to December. At this time, I am completely out of money in my BMO account. And when I go broke, I really go broke. In order to pay for a shuttle ride to the airport to go home at the end of the semester, I had to withdraw my last $20. Going home it was my intention to transfer my funds from California to Edmonton. While in California, I found out that there was a $30 fee for the wire transfer. Going the cheap rout, I decided to close out my account and simply deposit it as a check in Edmonton. Silly me, I had no way of knowing that there was going to be a 30 day hold on that check when I deposited it.. When I found out that all my assets were as frozen as Edmonton itself, I started selling my books, asking my friends for help, and I even got turned down for a loan from the bank in less than 5 minutes.