Language Barrier

One can't tell from a blog, but I'm a person that doesn't speak clearly, I mumble, or at least that is what I've been left to surmise from my interactions with people around campus. On friday I was moving furniture for labs and offices. When a fellow is coming down the hall with a filing cabinet and says "excuse me, pardon me" any reasonable person, especially university students, supposedly the smartest society has to offer, would get out of the way. Surely therefore, since only a small fraction actually deviated their path to make room, the rest must have not heard me, or thought I said "well, I guess the middle of the hall is as good a place to park a filing cabinet as any."
Today during my lunch hour I went for a sorely needed hair cut. What I said was "short on the sides and in the back, with a part on the side. There can be no doubt however the the Vietnamese woman who cut my hair however heard "I'd like to look like a lucemia patient who stuck his tongue into and electrical fixture." I supose this, because when she was done, my hair was short enough in the back to see significant amounts of scalp, and the top wasn't parted or even spikey (which was a style that she repeatedly said she thought would look good), it was just poofy; like some sort of short, blonde fro.
Perhaps I'm just unaware of a speech imediment I have. I could hardly understand the woman who was cutting my hair at all. Those of you who have seen Mad TV will remember the character of the little asian woman who kept getting robbed, and when asked about it would just say "oh, I tell you evey ting." Now picture that woman cutting hair and rambling about some huge vietnamese convert you should go to in California, and how the people there are so friendly and young, and you can get cheap DVDs and end up in the movies. After she was done, I borrowed the comb and actually made an acceptable style out of what I'll fondly refer to as 'la coupe a la electrocution'.
After the hair cut, I went to Tim Horton's for an extra large double-double and just received a large (15 cents less but about 50% less coffee). After wards I went across the room to the Wendy's and ordered a burger, only to have to explain after being rung up for the combo that I had no desire for eitheir fries or a drink, especially since I clearly had coffee in my hand. Perhaps my American accent is throwing people off?