Readers? What readers?

Sorry for not posting anything lately, but life hasn't really presented me with anything that has enough energy to motivate me to write. In response to this work a day lifestyle I ask for you, my friends and readers, to do one of two things. Please either suggest something for me to write about or write a post as though you were me and submit it for me to post. Submissions may be made to wgelnaw@gmail.com. I'll call it guest post week or something, but as long as people submit stuff, I'll likely post it, no matter how asinine. The funnier or more exciting the better. For those of you who actually know me, this is a good chance for you to practice roasting a colleague.