Similarities noticed between myself and the antagonist to Napoleon Dynomite:
1. When I'm not crashing with my relatives, I live in a van that's more than a decade old.
2. I currently have a rediculous looking, thin mustache.
3. I fixate on the past; not my past, but the past none the less. I also wish I had a time machine.
4. I sell things door to door; I sell fossils to people I know are dealers rather than crockery to neighbors, but it's still sales.
5. I have already heard one sibling say "Gaaa, quit eating all our food!"
In short, I'm one football and one camcorder away from being uncle Rico.
Also, for future reference, I'm going to be milking the fact that I now live out of my van for every pun, joke and reference I can get. You've been warned.
Monday, January 23, 2006
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4 comments:
Have you parked the van down by the river yet? Have any gay men hit on you lately? Straight women?
Children's ministry workers?
Glen still talks about you.
Yes, that is my revenge on Glen. He made it a point to tell the story of our meeting you to many pastors this past summer. He emphasized the part where we got back into the suburban and I turned to him and shrieked, "Glen, you bastard, you dirty bastard!"
Needless to say, I was more than embarrassed.
Yes, the van has been parked by the river. Actually it was a dried up stream bed outside Quartzite, AZ but I think that is close enough.
You need to morph this uncle Rico personia into more of a dirty prospector or crazy hermit who lives in the hills looking for the mother load of fossils that never quite comes... cause uncle Rico is just creepy man... the van works for your urban legend as the lost prospector... in that ghost story kinda way... kids will be ever on the lookout for the sinister van coming from the badlands
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