are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Still cleaning out my computer, here's some more stuff I found:

1. Did you ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece
on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.
NAÏVE
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a
peeing section in a swimming pool?
3. OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags"
and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make
the Tennessee Titans ?
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that mean
that one enjoys it?
5. There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
6.If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several
times, does he become disoriented?
7. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland
called Holes?
8. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
9. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
10. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
11. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
12. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you
put your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?
13. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
14. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just
stale bread to begin with?
15. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a
person who drives a race car not called a racist?
16. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
17. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
18. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it
follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners
depressed?
19. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
20. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
21. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
22. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny
little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?
Toothpicks?
23. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they
deliver the mail?
24 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?
25You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive
26. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
27. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
28. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
29. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
30. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
31. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
32. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
33. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are
already there?
35. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
36. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
37. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected
expected?
38. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
39. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
40. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
41. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
42. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
43. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when
you know the batteries are dead?
44. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
45. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
46. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use
them?
47. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
48. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
49. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in
front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?